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Weblog Archive: February 19, 2006 to Feb 25, 2006 Friday, February 24, 2006
Catholic civil rights leader Bill Donohue took credit for pressuring Comedy Central into "finally making the right decision". Many viewers complained to Comedy Central about the censorship, and the network responded with a form email stating in part, "Though Comedy Central did not include the 'Bloody Mary' episode in a special year-end marathon of 'South Park' episodes in deference to the Holidays, 'Bloody Mary' did in fact air in every one of 'South Park's' normally scheduled repeat timeslots. . . . Despite misleading claims from those who would like to claim victory, we have not permantly (sic) shelved the 'Bloody Mary' episode from future airings due to outside pressure nor will we exclude it from future DVD releases." So was the December cancellation a onetime seasonal sop to the "war on Christmas" crowd? Or has Comedy Central permanently shelved the "Bloody Mary" episode from future airings due to outside pressure? We'll find out soon with the next normally scheduled repeat timeslot: Wednesday, March 15, 10:00 pm EST. New episodes of South Park air on Wednesday nights at 10:00 pm eastern. The tenth season is scheduled to begin on March 22. Until then, Comedy Central has been re-running the ninth season episodes in order. The recent schedule: Jan 04 — Best Friends Forever (9-04) According to ComedyCentral.com's schedule of upcoming episodes, this pattern continues for the next two weeks: Mar 01 — Trapped in the Closet (9-12) "Bloody Mary" was the 14th and final episode of the ninth season, which makes it the logical choice to air on March 15. So what's on the schedule for that timeslot? Mar 15 — Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (9-01) Looks like "Bloody Mary" is still shelved from future airings due to outside pressure. Goddammit! For what it's worth, ComedyCentral.com has an online feedback form for viewers "to submit your comments or questions about Comedy Central programming". UPDATE (February 28): Comedy Central has fiddled with the upcoming schedule since my post. It now lists: Mar 01 — The Passion of the Jew (8-04) Meanwhile, New Zealanders got to see "Bloody Mary" last week despite local complaints. An appeal from the Catholic Church for New Zealanders to boycott an episode of South Park has resulted in a record audience there for the controversial cartoon. The "Bloody Mary" episode of South Park drew more than six times the normal audience, New Zealand broadcaster TV Works announced Thursday.
Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake, it is China's first speciality penis restaurant. Here, businessmen and government officials can sample the organs of yaks, donkeys, oxen and even seals. In fact, they have to, since they form part of every dish — except for those containing testicles. "This is my third visit," said one customer, Liu Qiang. "Of course, there are other restaurants that serve the bian of individual animals. But this is the first that brings them all together." [...] Some dishes appear unexceptional, such as the simple goat penis, sliced, dipped in flour, fried, and served skewered with soy sauce. But Guolizhuang also has its showpieces, such as the elegantly named "Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet" (provided by horses from the western Muslim region of Xin-jiang), for £20 a portion, or "Dragon in the Flame of Desire" (yak, steamed whole, fried and flambéed) for £35. For beginners, Miss Zhu recommended the hotpot, which offers a sampling of what the restaurant has to offer — six types of penis, and four of testicle, boiled in chicken stock by the waitress, Liu Yunyang, 22. Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Loose Women are Less Up-Tight. A new study by UK researcher Stuart Brody shows that people who have intercourse are less stressed than people who have other types of sex or no sex at all. . . . Brody said the stress-reducing benefits of intercourse were not attributable to mere post-coital bliss; the relaxation lasts at least a week. Pucker Up for Safety. A "long and passionate" kiss can lower blood pressure and cholesterol, according to a recent study from Germany and Austria. Researchers believe that kissing releases bacteria, stimulating antibody production for fighting off foreign invaders. (Link snagged from totalitarianism today.)
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Using the power of the internet and my not-unlarge website audience, I gathered almost 100 volunteers to start with, all of whom were regular porn users. Now, to simply ask them if they were addicted would have been as useless as trying to wipe our asses with a handful of scorpions. Nobody likes to be told their favorite things are harmful or, even worse, a sign of some kind of weakness. Our knee-jerk reaction is to rush to the defense of our vices and in my years on the 'net I've simply never heard anyone admit to being a porn addict. But could these 100 people go one week without internet porn? Click through for the totally scientific results.
He stapled his penis to a crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it ablaze before a stunned crowd, including his mother. Hendry won $500 cash, an equivalent bar tab and worldwide infamy. He went to a free students' medical centre the next day and had his burnt and bruised member dressed. The next day?!?
A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex. Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past. So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis. Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder. Oooh, owww. Maybe poor Zeljko will get a Viagra endorsement deal for his trouble. More in this vein. Monday, February 20, 2006
A new company is taking the concept a logical step further: add another ingredient, give it a sex angle, double the price again. 'Banned' Aphrodisiac Soda To Be Sold In Stores. This shocking Florida TV news exposé includes a slideshow with pictures of the can from multiple angles.
Different news stories list different ingredients. Local6 reports:
The drink, called Turn On, is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine. The soda was banned in France and Denmark, but makers insist it is safe and works as an aphrodisiac. People who have tested the soda said it tastes like cherry soda. Many energy drinks contain these ingredients. Guarana is similar to caffeine and may have aphrodisiacal qualities. A Boston Herald story, headlined "Soda claims to put more pop in sex life", says: The key ingredient in the soda is schizandra, a small red fruit found in China that has been a medicine, aphrodisiac, stimulant and energizer there for centuries. “Most people only have to drink one to experience a wonderful effect,” says [company president Howard] Hersh. Schizandra is certainly a cool-sounding name for an herb. According to herbal medicine sites, it's an aphrodisiac and so much more. It nourishes sexual fluids, calms the heart, quiets the spirit, beautifies the skin, helps the body resist infection; works as a kidney tonic and lung astringent; treats coughs, night sweats, insomnia, thirst, headaches, dizziness, palpitations, exhaustion; eases stress and nourishes the nervous system; prevents liver damage, regenerates liver tissue damaged by hepatitis and alcohol; quickens reflexes; helps control anger; boosts cognitive function and memory; prevents eye fatigue and increases visual acuity; helps in digestion, regulating gastric acid release; reverses depression; improves work performance, builds strength, reduces fatigue; helps the body better utilize oxygen, thereby improving human endurance; works as a mild sedative; improves coordination and concentration. Well fuck me, I got hard just typing all that. Schizandra is clearly a wonder drug! But couldn't one get the same effect just chewing a couple berries, popping a multivitamin, and washing it down with a diet Coke? UPDATE: A dazed reader asks, "How long til the penis enlargement soda hits the market?" |
