Contact

About

Give V-Day a Chance

by Marcy Sheiner
Originally published in the Spectator.

Betty Dodson's tirade against The Vagina Monologues and V-Day represents the worst thinking of the "sex positive movement." Like many sex radicals, Dodson can see no further than the clit or the tip of the penis. She certainly has the right to criticize any distortion of her own work in Eve Ensler's play — and it sounds as though Ensler was responsive to her critique. Beyond that, though, Dodson's essay is, in my opinion, misguided, self-serving and mean-spirited.

In Dodson's worldview sexual satisfaction is the paramount issue for women across the globe. This myopic vision reminds me of Naomi Wolf's absurd naming of women's single most burning issue: Eating disorders. "Orgasms," says Dodson, more or less. As an older woman Dodson should know that life is far more complex than this. At one point in my life I suppose I might have agreed that sexual satisfaction was primary for female autonomy, happiness, and success. But I cannot agree that anorgasmic women have it as bad as the women in Afghanistan, or any woman sweating under the real and symbolic weight of a chador.

Dodson complains about V-Day's focus on sexual violence against women, and the linking of sexuality with victimization. Frankly, I don't see how a play about the vagina could not include sexual violence against women, considering its pervasiveness. As Betty concedes, the first half of The Vagina Monologues is a celebration of the cunt; I think it's incumbent upon privileged American women to give equal time to the abuse of cunthood, particularly in a work that's performed all over the world.

In fact, I think what Eve Ensler has done is nothing short of miraculous. She's created a show that somehow slipped through the prude radar. The Vagina Monologues has become so popular that women who would never attend Betty's workshops — or, for that matter, read my anthologies — are getting the message. And that message is twofold: it's a celebration of female sexuality, and a call to stop the oppression of women. Dodson says that the audience is "brought to a delirious high during the first half only to be dashed into hopeless despair during the second half." I for one did not leave The Vagina Monologues in despair: I felt high and empowered, and I suspect so do most women who see the show. More important, the women who aren't familiar with the sex positive movement and/or feminism leave with their consciousness raised.

My barometer for this kind of thing is my old high school friend Angie, who is open-minded but rarely comes in contact with sex-positive ideas. She attended V-Day last year at Madison Square Garden, and called me afterwards bubbling with sexual enthusiasm and feminist rage. These reactions are not mutually exclusive. These reactions are necessary, appropriate, and positive. My daughter, who won't read my books, also saw The Vagina Monologues, and we had a rare conversation about sex afterward.

Exactly why Ensler has gotten through where sex radicals have failed is something I don't fully understand — but she has, and we older folks who've been womaning the barricades all these years should be gracious enough to give credit where it's due. In Dodson's criticisms I hear the faint echo of Schadenfreude, a jealousy peculiar to writers and artists towards those who become more famous and wealthy than they.

The men who were in the theater the night I saw the play were having at least as good a time as the women — I don't think they felt particularly "bashed," as Dodson perceived them. If a man can't hear about the oppression of women without taking it personally, he needs a few years of therapy.

Another criticism Dodson makes is that in the "Reclaiming Cunt" piece the narrator still hasn't found sexual satisfaction, "a perfect example of how standing on stage and screaming CUNT offers no practical sexual healing." The Vagina Monologues is not a healing workshop. It is not a therapy session. It is a play, a theatrical event, a work of art — potentially the most powerful agent of change known to humankind.

Dodson resents the money raised by V-Day, earmarked to help women in Afghanistan and other places where women are horribly oppressed; she'd like to see the money spent on sexual pleasure instead. Exactly how would this be done? Should V-Day raise money to send women to Betty's workshops? As for using the money for education: lack of money is not the reason that our schools don't do realistic sex education: ignorance, prudery, religious hang-ups and anti-sex thinking all contribute to the mis-education of youth. Dollars aren't going to change that. But a show like The Vagina Monologues — because it's so honest and daring — just might.

The Vagina Monologues is an ongoing work in progress. Ensler continues to gather stories from women to incorporate into the play. If Dodson wants it to include more about the clitoris or orgasms, she should submit something — or use her various platforms to urge other women to do so. That would be a far more effective strategy than trashing this worthy effort.