Anal Bleaching

Simon Doonan in the New York Observer claims that "the latest fad beauty treatment from the West Coast" is anus bleaching. "Whispers and innuendoes about this shocking new procedure—and the celebs who bleach—were jump-started by a snippet in the now-defunct Talk magazine. The Richard-Gere-gerbil-rumor-like frenzy has unfairly (I hope) zeroed in on ultra-thin thespian Lara Flynn Boyle. The wicked Web rumor mill has caused the talented and lovely star of The Practice to be ordained as the official Internet patron saint of anus-bleaching."

My first response was "Ow!" My second response was "Ick!" My third response was "this sounds bogus", so I did some googling.

There are several earlier mentions of anal bleaching, but that could just mean that Doonan picked up on a longstanding hoax or urban legend. Spraggwoman wrote last July about the anal bleaching phenomenon, which she heard about from a British magazine editor who heard about it from a staffer. The following month in the Sunday Times, Maria McErlane mentioned hearing "speculation about celebrity anal bleaching" at a London party. The Talk item appeared in the October 2001 issue. The earliest mention I could find was an August 2000 Usenet post from New Zealand, again in the "I heard somewhere that ..." vein.

If you're so inclined, you can read Usenet mentions of the Lara Flynn Boyle rumor here and here and here. (Warning: if you don't want the image of "having anal sex with Jack Nicholson" stuck in your head, don't click these links. Oops, sorry, too late.)

Doonan appears to be exaggerating when we says "Web sites focus instead on bleaching tips, as if sharing ingredients for an apple-pie recipe." The only instance he mentions, and the only instance I found via Google, is an "Anal Advisor" column by Tristan Taormino answering a reader question, "Is there any way of making my anus more pink or lighter in color? Mine is dark and I hate it — any suggestions?" This column doesn't exactly offer "bleaching tips." Taormino mentions some products commonly used to bleach skin, but firmly advises against using those products on your anus. If there are other websites sharing tips and ingredients for do-it-yourself anal bleaching, I couldn't find them via Google.

All sounds like an urban legend to me. (Mar 2003)

This Ted Casablanca column from April 2000 apparently launched the "Lara Flynn Boyle got her anus bleached" rumor.

Courtney Cox's Asshole is a hilarious short story about anal bleaching (not just, but that's the dazeworthy angle) by Jill Soloway.