Customer reviews of Astroglide

Last night I discovered that Amazon sells Astroglide. (Their "health & personal care" section is handy if you have a book order worth $22 and need a cheap add-on to get the free shipping.) The customer reviews hit all the standard Amazon types, from the exclamation point maniac —

nothing less than great! not much more to say! water based, smooth as silk, what else could you want? it does a fantastic job and i highly suggest it!

— to the overwrought multisyllabic pseudo-intellectual —

When love's labor is losing its traction due to lack of lusty lubrication, then using some of this liquid will help the two of you to reengage and reinvigorate your lovemaking activities. For those of us who consider such amorous affairs the stuff of hours of mutually stimulating and exciting personal encounters, nature can sometimes fail us by running of of steam and juices. In such circumstances, use some of this these specially designed lubrication can be of immeasurable assistance in putting the lovemaking back on track and back into gear.

— from the none-too-subtle spammer —

If you are into slammin' sex -- like you have when you do the special *** *** *** dvd methods, then this is the lube for you.

— to the sly wag.

Now I don't have to use butter anymore!

But this review is definitely my favorite:

I raise domestic beavers. A little known fact is that due to pollution, beavers can lose their ability to produce their own oil. The fur dries, the tissue hardens; it's painful and distressing to a beaver to experience this in their short and (should be) fun-filled lives.

This product, above all others, works to correct this malady. I smooth it into the fur, massaging gently. The result is a fit, relaxed and eager-to-please little beast who's ready to take on whatever wood the world throws at it.

Brilliant.

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