Cum vs moisturizer

Which is better for your skin, cum or moisturizer?

People have been telling me that cum gets rid of zits since I was sixteen years old. I remember my best friend Caroline saying, “It works. Look at me, I always get it on my face and I don’t have any zits.” She also insisted that if she didn’t have a boyfriend after a while she would break out. The verdict was that swallowing it was pretty good but nothing got rid of zits like getting it on your face. After years of standing by said rules I have decided to rent a tractor trailer and call a big, gigantic, heaping, six-thousand-million ton pile of bullshit on that school of thought. To prove it, my good friends Nick and Lisa put cum on one side of their face and moisturizer on the other FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH.

(In my opinion, the use of shouting caps was unnecessary overkill there. That sentence had already built up a good wallop.) They took photos every week to document the experiment.

Posted on Tue, Oct 21, 2003 at 1:57 PM