Paris Hilton public cunnilingus gossip
Entertainingly sleazy "blind item" from Ted Casablanca's E! gossip column.
She came, she saw, she served.
Herself, that is. Ms. Famous Aimless, who's supposedly dating Mr. Rocko Rocker, stepped into the kitchen of a very hip Hell-Ay hang recently. Table 8, to be exact. F.A. got herself up on the counter, she did, all ready 'n' panty-free. Skirt hiked, tiny bum squatted, legs parted--all she needed was a condom and a sprig of parsley.
But Mr. Funny Fart--who, unlike R2, isn't supposedly romancing our cuisine cutie--had something more tool-free in mind. F2, horny and hungry, eschewed protective gear and instead decided to devour F.A.'s delicacies with what is traditionally used during finer masticating experiences: the lingua.
Right smack in the open, for worker bees to see. And they did.
Don't think too many of Table 8's dishes got washed that night.
Gawker helpfully supplies names for the nonbicoastal: Famous Aimless is Paris Hilton, Funny Fart is Jamie Kennedy. A little googling reveals that Rocko Rocker was Deryck Whibley (of Sum 41), though they've since split and Paris is now dating Brian Urlacher (of the Chicago Bears). Page Six adds, "In other news, we hear that a stripper ex-girlfriend of hulking Urlacher, who is separated from his wife, nicknamed him 'Jungle Gym' because she liked to climb all over his massive frame. Have fun, Paris!"
