Two pessimistic takes on polyamory
Two sex advice columnists recently wrote very pessimistic responses about making polyamory work. Andrea Nemerson thinks most people aren't temperamentally suited to it and shouldn't kid themselves. "I used to be more idealistic (or less realistic), but my view of nonmonogamy has become increasingly jaundiced over time. It does sound great – what could be better than 'have cake, eat cake, and no cakes are harmed'? And done well (nobody's perfect), by people well suited to it, it is great. It's just that so many people who should never even think of trying to live that way do try it, which inevitably leads to public scenes, ashtray throwing, and letters to advice columnists." Cary Tennis doesn't think it's workable for anyone. "The dyad works because it combines the greatest strength with the fewest stresses. When you reverse that, adding stress and weakening the supports, you aren't designing for stability, you're designing for the excitement of a dramatic Las Vegas-style implosion."
