Triumph, Eminem and Moby at the VMA
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has issued an official statement about his encounter with Moby and Eminem at the MTV Video Music Awards.
I would like all of you to know that I am fine, that the scuffle at the MTV awards involving Eminem, Moby and Eminem's trusty friend who threw my pooping paper in the air did not result in permanent injury. As soon as Christina Aguilera came out, I licked myself as a test and my pink thing was perfectly functional. You will be glad to know that Moby also licked himself and all systems were go.
It was unfortunate that such an incident had to happen, especially on Michael Jackson's birthday, a day when we should all be embracing one another and humping our chimpanzees. The tone had been set for a lovely evening by Britney Spears, who is now hanging with Michael, thus ensuring she will remain a virgin indefinitely. as you now, my goal is never to set off scuffles and controversy, only to poop on and humilate others. I only wish Eminem could relax and enjoy all he has: his unique talent, and his smooth white hair, which brings to mind a beagle's nutsack. He should lighten up...I mean, my mom was a bitch too, but I don't go writing sings about it.
Eminem really needs to pull that bug out of his ass. His music is pretty cool (though I think Slim Shady LP was his best record and The Eminem Show his worst), but he fully deserves his laughingstock status. There's something really pathetic about proving your badass gangsta credentials by picking fights with Moby, N'Sync and now a puppet. You can watch a clip of the incident at the MTV website. Page Six reports that Eminem's "posse" confronted Moby off-camera yelling things like "We're going to get you after the show." Pathetic.
Moby discussed the VMA events at his website. "the truth is that i honestly, in all sincerity, thought that the whole eminem thing was done in some semblance of humor until eminem called me a pussy (that was off camera) and then threatened to beat me up. . . . and i was more concerned for triumph's well-being. if eminem wants to pick on someone, fine, pick on me, but don't diss the dog-puppet."
MTV.com also has a followup piece by Triumph with riffs on other celebrities he met at the awards show. "Justin Timberlake looks good. He has facial hair now. He looks really tough now that he's getting some tail. It's nice. After two years of just having to lick himself like the rest of us, it's good to see him up there. But Britney, I understand, you know, she's got her thing, she's saving herself. Yeah right, and I poop Godiva chocolate." And some final digs at Eminem: "Eminem is so street, I guess that's why I feel so comfortable pooping on him."
