JD Munro imagines adoption interview
Prompted by friends asking "So why don't you just adopt?", J.D. Munro imagines a nightmarish interview with the adoption agent.
Invite someone into my home to decide whether I'm worthy enough to take in someone else's unwanted children? Our house isn't even big enough to inspect, for god's sakes. We would have to buy a new 3-bedroom, 1.5 bath with security system, fenced yard, and attached three-car garage (complete with mini-van equipped with air bags) at the end of a cul-de-sac before filling out the application. And put up happy family pictures in the hallway instead of the watercolor of two carrots fucking.
And what would the inspector say about my bookshelf, with the de Sade biography and the obvious penchant for Anais Nin? The tarot deck and The Story of O? I know that looks like a carving of a larger-than-life (more's the pity) erect phallus, but, trust me on this one, it's priceless art with spiritual significance. Would you like me to smash it?
